Alright, I've thought about this semester a lot.... I know, I've had all summer to think, but it's always been hard for me to pick a topic. This is my last semester in computer art, so I need to start focusing my work for my senior show. After much thought and debate I would like to work with text again. The images I've done in the past with text were some of my favorites. I'm going to start by studying some artists that as work with text. One of my favorite artists is Jenny Holzer. She not only works with text, but also addresses social issues. Here are some of her pieces:

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And she works in very public places. I like the boldness of her work, and I would like to replicate the feeling that her work brings.

I guess now I have to find out what I'm going to do....

So, I got no work done this week. I saved my time on Thursday and Friday afternoon to print, but then things got all messed up. I knew that something was wrong with my arm on Tuesday, but I ignored it and hoped that it would fix itself. But by Thursday my arm still hurt, so I went to see the nurse and told her I thought I had a clot in my arm. The bugle and the pain was not really convincing, since my arm was not discolored. But after some persuasion, she agreed to order a test for a clot anyway. So, on Friday afternoon I got to visit the hospital. When I got there the technician even told me that she didn't expect to find a clot, that I was too young, and again my arm wasn't cold or discolored. But to her surprise, and none to mine, she found one right where the bugle was. Then I got to walk over to the emergency room and get pumped full of blood thinners. Luckily they only kept me for 2 hours and sent me home with some prescriptions. I will have to be on blood thinners now for a few months, but one more medication is nothing to me. While I was in the ER they did some blood work, and as I asked they did test my kidney functions. And, to my disappointment, my kidney functions are not getting better, they're not even staying stable, they are getting worse.... I guess I knew that, I mean I haven't really been feeling better, but I still hoped that all the medication they've been dumping into me would have done something. Well, something other than raise my blood pressure so that I got a blood clot... So that's my life right now. Tomorrow, or I guess this morning, since I couldn't sleep, I am going to a programming competition. This one is smaller than the last one I went to in the fall, but I think it still should be fun. Google reps will be there, and I hope that if there are less people, then maybe I'll get noticed more... Well, I hope we do well and that the drive (to Pittsburgh) and back in one day won't kill me.

Ok, so I haven't done much work at all... I did take some amazing pictures on vacation and I should have them tonight to show. Anyway, it seems that my health is going from day to day. Sometimes I feel great, and other times I feel like crap. Some nights I sleep like a baby, and others I don't sleep at all, just stare at the clock all night. I know that this is mostly from my medication, but it still upsets me. I'm so frustrated because my blood work didn't change, even after 2 weeks of steroids. I guess that I should be patient, but it's really hard to be patient waiting to find out how long you have to live. If I don't start responding to medication in the next month, then my chances of losing my kidneys go way up. Right now the doctors keep telling me that the medication should help and that I should regain functioning in my kidneys, but what they aren't saying is that if the medication doesn't work, then I'm going to go into kidney failure eventually. It could be in 5 or 10 years, or it could be in a few months. So now I'm playing the waiting game, which is frustrating.... This week, when I'm up to it, I will start mono printing and hopefully, if they turn out well, print some more pictures. I know that the printing has nothing to do with my flash project, but I need to do something different, I don't feel like everything that I do in one semester has to have the same theme.

Also, I wanted to post some of the photos that I'd like to use to print on. Hopefully tonight I can get them editted and printed so that I can start the printmaking process.

Ok, so I was told to blog about my fat clothes shopping spree. Since I'm on steroids, I will gain weight. There is no way around it, well, unless you had really strong free will. Steroids make you constantly hungry. Even when my stomach feels like it's going to explode, I still want to eat more and I can never feel full. Because I knew that this would happen, I went shopping online while I was in the hospital for some clothes. I think I got some good deals from Gap and Old Navy, and hopefully I will have enough clothes for my spring break trip. Last time I went on a cruise while I was on steroids, I gained 2 lbs. per day and I couldn't fit into my pants after 3 days. So this time I not only got pants that are one size too big, but a got a pair that is two sizes too big. I hope this will fix the problem so that I will have clothes that fit. I still need to get dress pants, which is that hard part, because I only need one pair, but I'm not sure what size to get them in. I have to order pants online because I need petite sizes, so I will have to wait for the jeans to arrive and then pick a size for dress pants and have them overnighted so they come in time. I know it seems like something small, but trust me, it's frustrating when you wake up in the morning and realize that your clothing choices for the day are pants that you won't be able to button or the one pair of pants you still fit into, but you've worn for the past 3 days. Yea, fat pants!

My weekend was fun... I had a kidney biopsy on Thursday and spent the day in the hospital recovering. I came back on campus on Friday so I could take a math test, then went back home to house sit. My parents left for vacation on Friday morning and I was to watch the farm animals and the cat. At 8:30pm I got a call from one of my doctor's partners telling me to go to the hospital immediately. So I freaked out and went with my fiancee to the downtown Columbus hospital where a bed was waiting for me. I knew that I had kidney damage, but it was hard to understand why I had to go right away. Well, it turns out that it was good that I had to go right away, because the damage doesn't seem to be completely permanent. If scar tissue builds up in your kidneys, then that damage is irreversible. Luckily I have very like scar tissue, so the doctors wanted to start treatment as soon as possible, so that I don't build up scar tissue. So, I spent Friday night through late Monday afternoon in the hospital. I was put on super steroids through IV and got poked with a needle every hour. So, that was my weekend... Now I will wait for some more test results to continue treatment. I will be on steroids for awhile, so watch out, because I'll be beefing up. Hopefully by spring break I'll be on some other drugs and I'll be good to go on vacation.

Well, anyway, I might add some mixed media stuff this semester. Last year I did some printing in Drawing II. I'd like to make some photos on the computer and then print over them. I know this is a long process, so I don't think I'll do very many, but I feel like I need to do something different.

So my semester hasn't been going well. Since winter break I have been in pain and no one could tell me why. This week I finally saw a specialist and was told that my kidneys are shutting down. Currently I have 34% function of my kidneys. Both the doctor and I believe that my childhood kidney disease has returned. When I was 5 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune form of kidney disease. After a year of drugs the disease went into remission. Well, I guess now it's back, and I think I caught it too late. At this point I can just extend the life of my kidneys. If I respond well to the drugs, then I could last 5 years before I need a transplant. There is a chance that this all could be caused by something curable, but it's not very likely. On Thursday I will have a kidney biopsy to confirm that my disease is back. I'm sorry if I've seemed tired or distant.... There are a lot of things that I'm feeling now. I want to blame the doctors who ignored my blood tests that showed a year ago that something was wrong. I also want to blame myself for pumping drugs into my body and hurting my kidneys. Then I feel like I'm letting my family down, because my mom is still sick, and I shouldn't be also. I don't want to be a burden on my family. How can I ever ask my brother to give me a kidney if he's still in college? What happens if I can't finish college?

Well, on a lighter note I'm super itchy. It's a symptom of my dying kidneys... But it makes me crazy! It's like having mosquito bites all over. Ahhhh!!!